Nearly a month has gone past since you said that you no longer feel the same way about me as you did, as I do about you--in essence, that you don't love me anymore. I have felt every possible emotion and feeling. And then just when I think I'm making progress I see you...but not you.
I was walking to an appointment and I saw you walking in front of me. I hurried my steps, apprehensive that it would be you, terrorized that it wasn't. I touched your arm and you turned. "I'm sorry; I thought you were someone else." I moved away, head down to hide the tears. "Why?" I asked myself, "Why is he still affecting me? Why do I still miss him?"
More often than not I want to reach out, beg you to come back to me, that I will take whatever I can get, whatever crumb is thrown my way because nothing is so painful and the memories only rub my wounds more raw. I don't want to hide away my heart, lock it away from love but at some point the pain becomes more than I can stand.
I know. I know that reaching out and begging will only bring more pain. I have to believe that my heart will heal, that I'll move on, that someone new will love me and I will eventually let him into my heart. Remember how hard it was to get me to lower my defenses? He will find the same potholes and speed bumps. Unfortunately those potholes are now deeper and the speed bumps sharper. I'm not blaming you. I accept full responsibility for my actions and the consequences.
I realy don't want to keep talking about this and I certainly don't want to be feeling this way anymore. You don't love me. I get that. You don't want me anymore. I get that. So why would I take you back were you to call me, tell me you changed your mind? One word, one stupid, little word.
Still.
I still love you.
I still miss you.
I still cry and hurt.
I still want you.
I still do.
I was walking to an appointment and I saw you walking in front of me. I hurried my steps, apprehensive that it would be you, terrorized that it wasn't. I touched your arm and you turned. "I'm sorry; I thought you were someone else." I moved away, head down to hide the tears. "Why?" I asked myself, "Why is he still affecting me? Why do I still miss him?"
More often than not I want to reach out, beg you to come back to me, that I will take whatever I can get, whatever crumb is thrown my way because nothing is so painful and the memories only rub my wounds more raw. I don't want to hide away my heart, lock it away from love but at some point the pain becomes more than I can stand.
I know. I know that reaching out and begging will only bring more pain. I have to believe that my heart will heal, that I'll move on, that someone new will love me and I will eventually let him into my heart. Remember how hard it was to get me to lower my defenses? He will find the same potholes and speed bumps. Unfortunately those potholes are now deeper and the speed bumps sharper. I'm not blaming you. I accept full responsibility for my actions and the consequences.
I realy don't want to keep talking about this and I certainly don't want to be feeling this way anymore. You don't love me. I get that. You don't want me anymore. I get that. So why would I take you back were you to call me, tell me you changed your mind? One word, one stupid, little word.
Still.
I still love you.
I still miss you.
I still cry and hurt.
I still want you.
I still do.
