Trust

You asked me to trust you. I was afraid and cried. You thought I wanted to break up because I admitted I was afraid. You asked me to trust, the one thing I didn't want to do. 


At the time I described how I was feeling as if I were standing in a dark room, feeling around for the light, worrying that when I flip the switch I'll be all alone. You said, "You won't be alone."


I know that loving me wasn't easy. I'm not perfect. I've been hurt a lot. My habit is to protect my heart at all costs, to keep my guard up, the walls impenetrable, impregnable. That's not a recipe for a successful relationship, I know. Yet I believed you.


You asked me to trust you. You said, "You won't be alone." I let you into my heart. I relied on you and your love to be my protection. I let myself love you and, for the first time in many years, I loved a man completely, truly.


Now you're not here, not with me. You chose...I lost. I knew it was happening so I did the honorable thing, I let you go. But letting you go hurts and I'm left to repair the walls and protect my broken heart.


You asked me to trust you. You said, "You won't be alone." I am alone. Sometimes the pain is more intense than I can bear and I say to myself, "Never again."


Today I hope that soon you'll change your mind, that you'll pick me, change your life for me. I know, that's just a dream. So, here I am still broken. Broken and alone.