Brother

My brother is the only man who has been consistently in my life and the lives of my sisters. I know that we all feel much the same...we worship him. Is he perfect? No and we're probably the first to point out just where he misses the mark yet if anyone else were to criticize him in anyway we will defend his honor till the death.


Growing up we endured all manner of acting out by him. He was, after all, the only boy in a family of women...very angry women. I have cried for the hurts he has withstood because of this anger. I wish I could take it all away, take it all back. Yes, he is an amazing person and an honorable man and never deserved to be so treated. I know we all wish we had been gentler with him and his feelings.


Right now I want to honor him, tell the world how amazing he is, how much I love and admire him. He is good. He tries to be just and fair and righteous. He is kind and considerate. He will do anything for a friend and everyone is a friend. He forgives and hopes and loves and sacrifices. 


When he was born my life was turned upside-down and I wasn't sure that this was a good thing. I have said that, had I known the word, I would have called him "Usurper" because that's what he did, he stole my life. He didn't really but as a 2-year-old that's how it felt. By the way, parents, that's how it feels. You may not remember a younger sibling coming into your family and you may have convinced yourself that it's all good but at the time you hated that little f**ker!


As we grew and as our lives fell apart, the only thing we had were each other, the five of us and the only man we knew (the sisters) who wouldn't leave us, wouldn't abandon us ever, is Bradley Davidson Bates. You may read this and think I'm being overly dramatic but I'll tell you what...Brenda summed it up nicely: you know those awful things that happened to other people, those are the things that happened to us. Bradley is always there and always will be.


My sisters have married men very like Bradley and, while they may posture and preen in an attempt to denounce my statement, they know the truth. Michael, Jeremy and Will are all very much made in the mold of Bradley. I was even married to a man similar to Bradley in certain ways.


Now, as a single woman looking for my Last First Kiss, I am looking for someone who reminds me enough of my brother without being weird. Those personality traits that make my brother amazing and wonderful calm me, reassure me and comfort me. I want to be a better person because this someone who is like Bradley is a good person and a great man. 


Yes, I have loved several men who are like Bradley and I will love them forever. I hope and pray for one who will love me back enough to spend the rest of his life with me, because no matter how crazy life gets, I know that with someone like my brother, I will conquer fear, overcome trials and tribulations and live a full and glorious life.


I love you, Bradley Davidson Bates. Thank you for being so wonderful!