Purpose

What is the point? Why am I here, on earth? I'm not suicidal, I'm just asking the question. Why do I do the things I do? Why do I care about what I care about? What IS the point?


I make sacrifices for work, sacrifices of my time and energy. I use my skills, abilities and knowledge. Why? In the grand scheme of things, how is what I am doing making any kind of difference to the world or to others or to me?


I earn money to buy things like food, clothing, shelter. So the point of work is to make money to buy necessities. Won't any work do? Why does it have to be what I do? But "necessity" implies basic. What's the point in spice then? Food is necessity and basically carbon. Why can't one food provide all I need to live instead of using all these different foods, spices, etc? Do animals require variety? Does my cat, Rascal, crave Italian sausage with peppers and onions?


Companionship. Why do I hate being alone but find myself without a significant other? Why do I constantly ask God where my Last First Kiss is hiding himself? Does this Last First Kiss actually exist? Maybe not since he's not in my life. What's the point of wanting to be with someone if no one is with me? Seems a little masochistic, don't you think? 


They say (whoever "they" are) that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. I must be insane...by now. I keep working hoping I'm making a difference. I keep eating hoping to keep living. I keep wanting to be part of a couple. Is my work making a difference? Am I living well? What good is hope when I'm still alone and lonely?


What is the real purpose of my life? Am I just taking up space? Going through some predestined motions? Biding my time till I die? I honestly don't get the point. Being here on earth makes absolutely no logical sense to me. I'm not going to jump ship, so don't call 9-1-1. I'm just curious to know what I'm supposed to be doing with this life I have.


What IS the point?